Psalm for November 16, 2014

O Lord, my maker, my ALL, I come to you again with broken heart.  Broken because I know I haven't been what I should have been to you and for you!  Broken, second, because of people I could have touched if only I was working with the mind of Christ at that time!  I've hurt people, I've been dishonest, I've murdered, I've caused harm Lord.  My hurting people is because we do what we know; I've been hurt, over and over again, year after year, and because I didn't seek your face and fall on my knees to forgive those people, I turned to people who needed my love and I hurt them.  I can't stop grieving, even though I've looked to you, confessed my sins, asked forgiveness, know your forgiveness was given because of your mercy Oh God.  I can't stop grieving because I know we only get one chance to do it right, my Father, and I've blown it over and over!  The Word says you cast our sins into a sea of forgetfulness.  Why can't we forget Lord?  Why is it so hard to move on Lord?  Why is my heart still breaking because of things I've done to my son?  For a long time I thought that my hurt against him with my hands have caused him to not have it together now.  I thought that I have placed undue sins upon my children because of my behavior.  But then I read it's not true!  I want it to be not true!  My sons don't deserve the sins of their mother!  Please God, take away the yoke that binds my children.  Please God in Heaven, loose the chains that bind their lives because of anything I've done!  Please God help Chris develop into "A man of God's own Heart!"  God please remember my prayers and Word over him at birth!  Don't forget that I gave him to you Lord, like Hannah gave Samuel.  And please God heal the emotional hurts that Oliver carries everyday.  The light has gone out of his life Father, and I ask you to life, the scales of depression, and pain of rejection, and displacement when he was a child.  He feels that he was abandoned by his brother, hence the constant issues between them.  Please repair that, not only for Aidan's sake, but their their own sake.  When I'm gone, I want them to lean on each other!  Please God, My prayer, my psalm to you!  I Love you Lord, please hear my cry, please pity each tear, each grown.